Wednesday, 9 February 2011

A few jokes for you

1. A man goes to the doctors and says "Doctor I think I have a lettuce stuck up my bum." The doctor then examines him and has a good feel around and then says, "Sorry sir but this is just the tip of the Iceberg"
2. Irish man on Who wants to be a millionaire?
He says to Chris Tarrant "Chris I don't know the answer" Tarrant says "You can ask the audience or have 50/50 or you can even phone a friend" He says "OK I will phone a friend" Tarrant hands him the phone    "Hello Paddy, I am just phoning to ask you shall I take 50/50 or ask the audience?"
3. My wife went to the beauty parlour where she had a mudpack and she looked great for 2 days, then the mud fell off.
4 A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt who name him "Ahmal" the other goes to a family in Spain who name him "Juan"
Years later Juan locates his birth mother and sends her a photograph of himself. Upon receiving this photo, she tells her husband that she wish that she had a photograph of Ahmal. To which her husband responds    "They are twins! once you've seen Juan you've seen Ahmal"
5. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced a big set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
Which made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis!

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